Awareness is the first step to being a mindful parent.

Mindfulness in parenting.

I want to start by saying that I was you, I am you, and I continue to be a human parent with all the emotions that come with it. What I can tell you is that when I began to engage in mindfulness practices (yes, I’ll explain that), became more embodied (don’t worry, I’ll break this down too), and learned to control my breath, a fundamental shift occurred. I re-calibrated how I reacted and how I felt about myself as a mother.

Let’s distill this into something digestible. How aware are you of your body’s signals, and how well do you respond to them? This awareness also called interoception is: "the ability to be aware of internal sensations in the body, including heart rate, respiration, hunger, fullness, temperature, and pain, as well as emotional sensations” (APA). It’s about being mindful (conscious) and embodied (your sense of self as influenced by your body's experiences with the world).

Here’s an example: I get home from work, holding two bags in both hands, hungry, and needing to pee. As I walk in the door, my kids come running—happy, whiny, and asking for popsicles. Instantly, I feel frazzled. I fumble to unload one arm, trying to prop open the freezer for the popsicles. In my hurry, I forget I need to pee, grab a snack from the pantry, and stand at the kitchen counter shoving down handfuls of crackers—more than I need and definitely not what my body was asking for. I’m overwhelmed, totally unregulated.

Now, let’s replay this from a place of awareness or "mindful embodiment." I pull up to the house, turn off the car, and take three equalizing/reset breaths. I grab two bags, intending to make two trips. My children rush up to me, and I smile. I tell them I need to set the bags down first. I set down the bags. I hold my daughter, present and grounded. They ask for popsicles, and I calmly let them know I’ll get them one after using the bathroom. Popsicles in hand, I ask my husband (who’s is watching the kids) to bring in the other bags while I grab a snack. I consider what my body needs and choose carrots and a piece of dark chocolate. I sit down. I connect. I take three more down-regulating breaths. I’m calm. I’ve met my needs, and now I’m present.

The key is I’m self-regulating. I’m connected to my body, and I model this behavior for my partner and kids. We all win. And it all starts with awareness—simply tuning in to bodily needs and environmental stressors, then responding. This scene takes maybe ten minutes, but it can easily become the most chaotic, deregulated part of my day if I don’t pause to modify.

By recognizing our patterns, we gain the ability to fine-tune them. We also start to observe how emotions manifest in our bodies, building awareness that empowers us to manage or adjust our responses. One of the most powerful tools for cultivating this awareness is the breath. Essential to life and something we all instinctively know how to do, its potential to help us regulate and find balance is immense.