What's in a name: The Story Behind HEN Mindfulness
Hello and welcome to my first words on this Substack. I believe in starting at the beginning—with the origin, the why. I hope to create a small framework to give some insight into who I am and what my mission is.
First off, HEN stands for Hic Et Nunc, the literal Latin translation for "Here and Now." The importance of those words will come up again and again as we go through this journey together.
Six years ago, I moved to the U.S. from Canada, eight months pregnant, while opening a real estate marketing firm and brokerage in Scottsdale, Arizona. Our visa application came through at the final hour, and we decided to make the jump before the baby arrived. The moment my feet hit the ground, I was in perpetual motion, with barely a moment of calm before my son was born. We moved into a new home, set up a baby room, met my new OB, and I completed a two-week accelerated real estate certification course so I could legally operate my new business. It was a wild ride—a major cultural and geographical shift, more than I’d anticipated.
My son’s birth was tense, traumatic, and painful—but he was healthy and beautiful. As I navigated healing my body and trying to find community, COVID hit. Suddenly, it was just me, my husband, our son, and the small bubble we’d formed with my parents. We all know the challenges COVID brought, so I won’t go too deep into that, but those two years left a lasting impact.
As my son grew, so did my feelings of deep love, frustration, lack of control, and confusion. He was wild and emotional—often more than I could handle. I had lost any ability to regulate my emotions, wondering if I ever really knew how. I yelled. I worried. My husband and I struggled as my son developed strong preferences for his father, and we disagreed on how to handle his demands. We sought counseling and did some work, but it felt like we were just coasting.
When my son was 3, our daughter was born. Her birth was feminine and strong. It was fast, but this time I was prepared. I breathed. I hired a doula. I had a playlist. But three months after her birth, we bought a house and moved—more change, more stress, all self-induced. I remember sitting outside the new house, with my daughter in the back, moving items over from the old house, feeling completely broken, unable to cope, emotionally shattered. I had lost all connection to myself.
With the help of professionals, I discovered I was suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety. I got meds, went back to counseling, and I healed... a little.
My company kept growing—we hired new agents, built a sub-brand, and navigated rising interest rates. But something still wasn’t right with me. I felt disillusioned, frustrated by the work, and trapped in a family business. I still yelled. I still met my son’s anger with my own.
One day, as I scrolled through Instagram, a teacher I admired posted about a yoga teacher training. I felt a flicker of deep desire. I brought the idea to my husband—how we could make it work, how I felt called to do something just for me. He agreed (because he truly is my beacon of support).
That training started a series of events that would change everything. I broke open—so wide I couldn’t close back up. I saw all my misalignments, my lack of self-love, my absence of self-regulation. I became mindful. I became aware. My relationships changed. My time with my children filled me up instead of draining me, and I found ways to cope when things got hard.
From there, my heart stayed open—more workshops, more reading, breathwork facilitator training, and the birth of an idea tied to a desire to share these incredible tools. HEN's goal is to support mothers, fathers, and caregivers in a nurturing, positive way—to be of service. All we truly have is the here and the now—the ground we stand on, the family we care for, and the self we carry with us.
